Hey there, miss that planet that used to be Pluto? Wish you could visit a cold, desolate place to get your mind off of things? You’re in luck! Our new spacefaring corporation just recently discovered a NEW PLUTO called NXuP-826. Be the first to jump on this opportunity!
Tired of living on an already colonized and populated planet? Wish to be recorded in the annals of history? Or want to have adventures? NXuP-826 is place to be, with many new opportunities open. Be warned, spots are filling up fast – this opportunity won’t last long. Act now!
Join us on the first-ever voyage to NXuP-826, an exciting planet 8.26 light years beyond your wildest dreams! Colonists will receive comfortable zero-gravity accommodations, a hefty supply of organic freeze-dried foodstuffs, and breathtaking nonstop views of the NGC 826 cluster. Sign up today!
To celebrate the recent discovery of planet NXuP-826, everyone’s invited to a Dance Party featuring SF’s own DJ SpaceCamp! Dance all night! Refreshments, gravity boots and and oxygen provided! (Must have own transportation.)
The new Pluto is now the planet that never sleeps!
Jump on that space shuttle and join us ASAP for the new night life on the new planet.
With its glowing particles floating from above and its anti-gravity force field, it will be an experience you will never forget!
Don’t you hate waking up in the morning and the sun blinding you every morning? Well, I have a great planet to tell you about where the sun isn’t even visible! NXuP-826 is a wonderful new planet sparsely inhabited waiting for you to take residence.
Batman, Superman, The Flash, and even Chuck Norris all have something in comnon; amazing abilities. At some point in your lifetime or another, everyone wanted to have a superpower. What if I told you it was all possible? Thank you to our scientists for finding a planet, NXuP-826, you have the ability to fly and run at exceptional speeds. On top of all of the unrealistic chances you have at your disposal, the planet has food that is literally out of this world. And for you fashionistas, you know how expensive vintage clothing can be. Well, by the time you get there, ALL of your clothes will be 100% retro. Don’t waste such an opportunity!
Action! Adventure! Little Green Men! It’s all on Planet NXuP! Kiss that mountain of paperwork and tiny cubicle goodbye. Say hello to the front cover of People magazine and being a space hero (in real life and not just Starcraft)! Take the long way home…
NXuP-826 is the new Beverly Hills. This new planet has all of the perks of the richest community in the world without the heavy costs. The weather is always 78 Degrees and sunny. The cost of basic necessities over there is practically nothing. Buy a plot of land and build a home for practically nothing today!
With an exponentially growing population planet earth is running out of minerals reasources and even space to fit everything! Luckily we have found the solution, planet NXuP-826. The benfiets of colonizing NXuP-826 include space for resources such as lumber, crops, and even the possiblility of finding new elements!
After exploring Dance Dance Time Travel, the Swirly Brothers discovered NXuP-826. Named after favorite dance/quasi rap moves, the NoXious uP name reflects the native people’s adaption to complete darkness. Without sun or star light, the 826 tribe survive with disco balls, neon apparel and glow stick evolution.
Beaches, peace, and nurturing 24/7. Good, healthy food. Reasonable love and support. We work with the environment not against it. We aren’t into control. Our goal is to make sure every child is healthy and becomes the person he or she was meant to be. Come join us. It’s safe and affordable.
Others might say it is all about the journey.
At NXuP-826, we mean it!
If your intergalactic Uhaul arrives, we have:
-Zero traffic! Nobody’s here yet.
-No political talk radio!
-All World Records available, including tallest human, shortest human, most pogo stick bounces – please bring a pogo stick.
Tired on the over-population and pollution here on earth? There’s a new place to live out in space. It’s called NXuP-826. This is a chance for humans to start again on a new planet. The beautiful NXuP-826 is only a few light years away, 8.26 to be exact. If you agreed to be a part of the first colony on NXuP-826 you would go down in history as being a part of the first interplanetary space colonization. Be a hero! Bring hope to planet earth! Come to NXuP-826!
Recluses rejoice! You can never be as far away from human civilization as when you buy real estate on the distant newly discovered planet of NXuP-826! It is often compared to Pluto, except that it is indeed a planet. Call 555-RENT-A-PLANET to book a reservation today.
Does Global warming have you all hot and bothered?
Do you miss wearing your parkas, hats, mittens and scarves?
Have we got the planet for you!
NXup-826 is so far away from the nearest star
You’ll never be too hot again.
First 826 inhabitants get free winter boots!
Need a break from routine? Looking for something more exotic than the giant flea market just off the interstate? Throw caution to the solar winds and relocate to NXuP-826! Abandon your earthly cares; start anew! No grass to mow, just pristine nothingness to enjoy all alone. Bring your needlepoint!